I seem to be angry lately. And if Im not angry, I get mad at things easily. Im mad at everything from my friends to my animals...something about someone or some thing has upset me and now I am caught in this funk. Im pretty sure it started with my laptop charger...it stopped working, and since my battery died a few years ago, I cant even turn it on without being near some sourch of power. So after my power cord crapped out, I seem to be floating above my angry self. Im not normally this angry about things. Most stuff is like water on a duck's back...just sliding down...not making a difference.
Im mad at my best friends for leaving me...all at once...and I know its not about me, its about life and doing what you have to do for your family, but I still cant help but take it a little personal. Im probably mainly just mad at myself, for things I didnt do...for things I cant take back.
I am on current quest for peace and meaning and learning to accept the change that see taking place around me. I am on a quest for some sort of resolution...some happy ground that has to exist before I stop getting angry at things that I can not change, and maybe that is why I am so mad, I cant control them. So as I hover above...watching my life unfold as it normally does...Im am learning to accept. I did have to go back and read my resolutions for the year...to remind myself of the state of mind that I was at the beginning of the year and it puts things into perspective. Because Im not this angry person who hates everything and I refuse to get lost in madness.
I think it all starts with the sweetest boy...I will be there soon.
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