When the Lights Go Down

I know it has been a really really long time since I have written anything...and in all this time some amazing things have happened to me. I finally graduated from college. In a whirlwind of exhaustion and amazement, I walked acrossed a stage that I never thought I would even stand on. Im not sure it has hit me yet. Like a bad habit, I still feel like I should be doing a little homework...who ever thought I would be tweaking over assignments. And following close behind, I have finally decided to quit smoking. After way too many years, I have given it up. Its been a month and I am still going strong. I feel better every single day. And this really opens up a lot of doors for me. I have started working out more. Lets face it, I have never been even close to being called skinny...and I probably wont ever be, but there is nothing wrong with being healthy...so I am giving it another shot. Years ago I lost a bunch of weight, but a terrible relationship and overwhelming sadness will do that to a person. So now that I am happy, the weight crept back and its just time to get rid of it. And now, since Im not smoking...there is no reason to not work out. I have never been called lazy so no excuse this time. Ive been keeping up with working out. Only not doing it on the weekends. Ive also been job hunting. Im ready to spread my wings and fly and even though I havent found anything YET, I am hopeful that God has a plan for me and he can see my heart. So I just keep on trucking. Im super happy, despite my bout of insomnia. Im loving life. And even though we drive each other crazy, I love my wife. I know she is getting into heaven because she puts up with my crazy :)

The Last First Day

So many of you know that I have been going to school which seems like the better part of my life. I could only afford to go part time, so that is what I did...for 8 years. For 8 years, I have been a student, I have sat in classrooms and watched the people around me get younger and younger while I worried about how I was going to be able to feed my animals or pay that bill that was looming above my head. But I persevered, with a determination that fueled me for 8 years. I have watched people move on, and my friends start their lives and although my life has never been empty, it has always revolved around school. So here it is, one of the days that I have been waiting for since I was 22. The light at the end of the tunnel is almost blinding now and my heart beats with such excitement and terror that I'm not sure which one to feel first. But I do know that I feel happy and for some reason Ive not been able to stop smiling.

And so it begins

So it seems that every year, I make resolutions and lets face it...shit is really hard to stick to when you are just trying to make it through life with your head above water. This year I wanted to do something a little different. I didnt want to list how I wanted to be a better person. I didnt want to put it out there for the whole world to read (or at least the 2 people who might read this) I really just wanted to take things one day at a time. Life is hard. My routine is very stubborn and very unforgiving when it comes to introducing new things. In fact there are times when my routine straight up shuts my ideas down immediately. So this year, Im just going to try. I know I have a huge year ahead of me with many obstacles to over come and goals to shoot for, so instead of listing them, Im just going to try for each of them. And even if I dont make all my resolutions come true, I will know that I tried, one day at a time. Every journey begins with one step...so here is my step.

Life on the Farm Take 1

So most of you know, I live on a little piece of land in Lakehills Texas. Podunk USA. I LOVE it here. Its far enough to get away from the city, but just close enough that I can go and see my dad and sister when I feel like it. I actually wouldn't mind moving a little further out, but really, one dream at a time is all I seem to be managing these days. So Jenny and I live on about 5 acres, give or take, of land. We rent, but our landlords are so cool about everything, there are days when I feel like this piece of land is our own. So I call it our little farm on Wrong Way Lane. Which really couldn't be a more perfect name...because we are wrong in a lot of ways. We have more animals than we know what to do with but we love them all. We are about to acquire a goat...lets see how that adventure unfolds. Axle needs a friend and really a goat is the cheapest option. Life out in the country is supposed to be easy, and slow and relaxing...but I don't think I have ever had an easy, slow, relaxing day. There is always something to do. Something is either dying or being born or stuck in a fence or wounded or something that calls us to take care of whatever God decides to throw our way. And most days, Jenny and myself, attempt to do this with a grace that sometimes leaves us. There seems to be a lot death lately so to ease the pain, I see if I can hit landmarks when I throw bodies over the fence. I told my boss this and I really should have taken a picture of her face. But death isn't sad to me...it just makes way for new lives that the spring will inevitably bring.

Bliss

My life is dream, and although its never been a fairytale, I feel like there are moments when its possible that I can fly...this is that moment.

A long Time Coming

I'm not going to lie. My bestie Jenny started a blog and it reminded me that I have one too! I have not written anything in a really long time. Don't get me wrong, I have started PLENTY of things, but lets face it...I have ADD and I do half of this stuff at work so I get distracted very easily. These past few months have been an emotional and physical roller coaster and there are days when I would like to pack up my things and hit the road. There are times when I wish someone would have told me that there are days when things get better and there are days when things get worse. Responsibility isnt all its cracked up to be. But for once, in a long time, I am happy with my life. So I promise to write more, and stay in touch more and let people know what is really going on.

La Playa

This past weekend my sister, my girlfriend and I went to the beach for a little mini vacation. Here are some things I learned about the wonder filled town of Corpus Christi:

1. The church to bar ratio evens itself out
2. There are a boat load of car dealerships
3. About every 5th building seems to be abandoned
4. You will get sand everywhere
5. I'm pretty sure the locals don't appreciate seagulls
6. people will make fun of you if you fish with a bobber
7. do whatever it is you want to do while you are there...you probably wont ever see these people again anyhow.

This mini vacation was good for my soul. It was just enough time for me to rejuvenate myself and refocus.